Road House Rules for Assertive Communication
February 13, 2011
Communication -- my favorite topic to train on.
Most of us know the basic definition of Assertive Communication...standing up for your rights without infringing on the rights of others.
I short cut that definition even more these days....."clear...concise...and nice!" I developed this definition after watching Patrick Swayze in a clip from the movie Road House. In this clip, Dalton (Patrick Swayze) tells the bouncers how to deal with conflict in the bar...if someone starts a fight in the bar, take them outside, but you WILL BE NICE!
Assertive communication is about taking a stand for your rights, without taking away the rights of someone else. The problem is that most of us want to enforce what WE think is right upon others -- and that can be considered aggressive.
Any action you take, where you intimidate, belittle, fix others, or demand that someone else stop what they have the right to do OR ELSE...can be considered an aggressive position --- even if what the other person is doing is illegal, immoral (in your opinion), etc.
Assertive communication is about setting boundaries for yourself...letting people know how you feel, how their actions affect you, what your desires are.
Becoming an assertive communicator does not guarantee that you will always get what you want, or that you will always "win the battle." It gives you a platform to state your position, set your boundaries.
Most of us know the basic definition of Assertive Communication...standing up for your rights without infringing on the rights of others.
I short cut that definition even more these days....."clear...concise...and nice!" I developed this definition after watching Patrick Swayze in a clip from the movie Road House. In this clip, Dalton (Patrick Swayze) tells the bouncers how to deal with conflict in the bar...if someone starts a fight in the bar, take them outside, but you WILL BE NICE!
Assertive communication is about taking a stand for your rights, without taking away the rights of someone else. The problem is that most of us want to enforce what WE think is right upon others -- and that can be considered aggressive.
Any action you take, where you intimidate, belittle, fix others, or demand that someone else stop what they have the right to do OR ELSE...can be considered an aggressive position --- even if what the other person is doing is illegal, immoral (in your opinion), etc.
Assertive communication is about setting boundaries for yourself...letting people know how you feel, how their actions affect you, what your desires are.
Becoming an assertive communicator does not guarantee that you will always get what you want, or that you will always "win the battle." It gives you a platform to state your position, set your boundaries.
Posted by Debra Fox.
